i feel...

~left behind
~foolish
~unwanted
~stupid
~all alone
~not important

sometimes I wish I could go back in time and make up for all the chances that I lost...



chances to be with youuuu

GFS cancelletion and more

i need inspiration.
i can't seem to add anymore to the 3 sentences that I have already written.

just to let you all know:

Y'all are awesome,beautiful, and important to me in your own ways.
It's too much for me to have to write about the many ways you each light up my days and fill the void that a real girlfriend would do. Just don't stop what y'all do. And I'll love you all forever.

----------------------
I want to play an instrument or do something interesting.
So, I put up this video on youtube that was meant for one eye to see.
Now, I have 52 views and I was hoping that that one person watched it that many times.
Sadly, other people have seen it already. SO I thought, "Why not put others?"
Then, I went to watch other covers of other songs..

and I think I'm not as good as the ones I've watched.
There are people singing while dancing, or singing while playing guitar like Gabe Bondoc, and
there are people singing with each other like RinontheRox. I need to do something different...

I feel like singing, like just singing, is so plain..Ugh. I don't do plain. But I might just have to live with it.. We'll see..

PS. Im not tryna fish for compliments.. I know what I sound like.. So don't comment on my insecurities. (Just saying)

--Jayson

GFS

Marlene~Bestfriend Sent from Above!

Marlene Claudia Calicdan Reyes, (I think that's her full name HAHA!) has been my bestfriend for as long as I can remember. It's funny because we think so much alike!

She is the one person I can run to when I need to tell my deepest darkest secrets and I know I can totally trust her. Of course, she tells me her deepest darkest secrets tooo.. and guess what? I'LL NEVER TELL. lol

Recently, because of my current depression, (haha) I've been thinking about which friends I will still have when I'm 60. Marlene was the first on my list. I never ever want to not be friends with her and I'm sure that she feels the same with me.. After all, we freakishly have the same thoughts somehow. It's like were twins!

I can't wait to go on our European excursions before she gets married.
Sigh, so many things to do before then..
One thing we need to do soon is HANGOUT!
BEST! I HAVEN'T SEEN OR TALKED TO YOU IN FOREVER!!
SO MUCH I NEED TO TELL YOU!! CALL MEEEEE! Let's eat dinner tomorrow at our usual!

--Jayson

Girl "FRIEND" series

So, I was talking about how I wrote a blog and put as a diary entry..

I was thinking of just posting that same "diary" as public..
but I'm not that predictable...

But don't worry, your turn will come..

You seee, starting today, Ima feature one girl on my top until I'm done with my top..

TODAY's LUCKY GIRL IS......

ELOISA~More than friends
LOILOI has always, for some reason, been linked to me.
It was annoying at first, but I learned to live with it..
Now, we're closer than ever.
I can truly say that she was the closest to what could've been something more..
Does that make sense?
Sadly, She's leaving and I dont wanna take my chances..

I still love her and I will always.
She will forever have a place in my heart.
and we will forever stay more than friends, less than lovers.
If there is a label for that, I would've put it, I just dont think theres a label for that.